Human Habits
by Inspire165
Summary: How has day-to-day life changed since the Autobots arrival? Random one-shots of humans and Transformers.Rated T just to be safe! ;D
1. Doctor's Orders

~"Doctor's Orders"~

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"Hey Maggie can we get something to eat? I'm hungry over here!"

Maggie halted her attempt to apply mascara to look over at Glen, a bump in the road causing her to temporarily drop the mascara. She quickly caught it before it fell to the floor, brush side-up.

"Glen you're always hungry…"

"Well that may be the case…" He paused to rub his stomach, "But I've got to keep up with my belly's constant demands…" He laughed as Maggie rolled her eyes scrimmaging through her purse for a tissue.

"Glen you don't need anymore food!" Glen scowled as he turned to look out the window.

"Oh! Oh! KFC with their buckets of chicken…" He faltered as KFC rolled out of sight. Maggie shook her head as she dumped out her purses contents.

"Oh hey now, my girl Wendy and her supply of Frosties…" He whimpered as it moved out of view. Maggie grumbled slightly, unsuccessful in finding a tissue.

"_I believe I have a cloth supplement contained in my modes compartment…"_

Maggie bent down to dig through the Medic's glove compartment, resurfacing with a package of tissues, ignoring Glen's Burger King rant.

"Thanks Ratchet." She said to the H2 Hummer, dabbing at her lipstick. She dropped the tube, startled when Glen loudly sucked in air.

"NO!" He exhaled, his eyes glistening as his mouth began to water, "My man McKee D's!" He turned over in his seat, clapping his hands together.

"Please Maggie! I'm begging you, just a quick stop?" He pleaded, shaking his hands. She sighed loudly, as she looked down at the radio.

"Ratchet?"

The hummer immediately turned off of the road and into the McDonald's parking lot, heading towards the drive through. Glen squealed joyfully as he wrung his hands anxiously.

"You better be paying for this…" Maggie mumbled as they approached the drive through window.

"Hi! Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order?"

Glen smiled joyfully, licking his lips. He excitedly unbuckled his seat belt and leaned over his seat, knocking into Maggie. He glanced at the menu for a second before turning to the speakerphone.

"Okay…I'll have a…"

"_May I intervene…?"_

Glen stopped talking just as Maggie shoved his elbow away from her face, both looking towards the radio.

"_After running a full diagnosis on this facility, I highly encourage such supplements you wish to indulge in to be avoided for safety purposes. This place processes rather high amounts of calories, fructose, trans-fats, oils, sweets, artificial ingredients', cholesterol, salts, artificial flavors, dyes, uncooked meats and is prepared in unkempt conditions where humans can catch illnesses such as E-coli, Salmonella, Campylobacter, Calicivirus,__ Shigella__, hepatitis A, and the parasites __Guardia lamblia__ and __Cryptosporidia__, which can lead to heart attacks, high cholesterol, immune deficiency, heart failure… and in your case… may also cause obesity…"_

Maggie blinked while Glen just nervously laughed, his loud voice bouncing off the Hummer's walls. A small 'ahem' crackled from the speaker.

"Sir…may I please take your order…?"

"Yes…I'll have a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese…" He said, scanning the menu.

"_740 calories, 42 grams of total fat, 155 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, and 9 grams of sugar…"_

"Okay…then I'll have a Big Mac…"

"_540 calories, 29 grams of total fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 1040 milligrams of sodium, and 9 grams of sugar…"_

"How about large French fries…?

"_500 calories, 25 grams of total fat, and 350 milligrams of sodium…"_

"…a Vanilla Shake…?"

"_1110 calories, 26 grams of total fat…"_

"Can we just get a bottle of water!?" Maggie shouted, shoving Glen back into his seat.

"_Water is acceptable…" _Ratchet commented, immediately silencing due to Maggie's sudden outburst. Glen slouched back in his seat as they drove forward to the pay window.

"Hey Glen…" Sam started, spying Glen marching into the base. Glen stormed passed Sam and towards the headquarters kitchen, accidentally dropping an empty water bottle onto the floor. Sam picked it up, quizzically looking at the crushed plastic bottle. The ground vibrated slightly as Sam looked up, seeing Ratchet and Maggie entering the base.

"What's with Glen?" Sam questioned as Glen shoved multiple donuts into his mouth, crumbs and powdered sugar falling. Flustered, Maggie snatched the empty water bottle and shoved it into her purse.

"He followed the doctor's orders…!"

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This is a series of random one-shots I am going to start...filling in what happened between battles. ;) lol this is just one of the many idea's I have brewing in my head! And for those who are wondering, yep those are correct measurements of McDonald's food![Got it straight from their website.] I just hope I don't get sued for this! ;D **PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	2. Chubby Bunny

I couldn't help but right this! This game is so fun! ;D Yes...I involved myself in the story... ;p

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"What the heck?" My hand grabbed a hold of a large plastic bag that had materialized onto my stomach. Disgruntled, I swiveled around in my chair to angrily eyeball Sam, who had just tossed his keys onto the base floor and had collapsed into a nearby chair.

"What's with this?" I demanded, fumbling with the opening of the bag, he smirked at me, looking over towards Mikeala who had on the same expression.

"The answer to our boredom…" He waited until I had opened the back and pulled out the item before flashing me a devious smile.

"Marshmallows…?" I questioned, dangling the bag in front my face. He once again flashed me the same smile. I slumped back into my chair, defeated.

"Okay…I am clearly missing out on something that I would like to be clued in on…?" I said, pointing towards the bag.

"Two words…" He said him and Mikeala scooting onto the base floor, "Chubby…"

"Bunnies…" Mikeala finished, gesturing with her fingers.

"You're joking me…" I replied, slowly sliding down onto the floor.

"I'm dead serious…" He said despite the grin he had on his face. I looked at him disbelievingly.

"Alright fine," He admitted, throwing his hands up, "Like we have anything else to do, since we aren't allowed to touch anything around the damn base..." He stared at Mikeala angrily, grumbling to himself. I looked at her questioningly, she distracted Sam by stroking his hand softly before leaning towards me.

"Let's just say it involved him and Ironhide's weapon room..."

"Smooth..." I said sarcastically, smirking at him with my arms crossed. He chucked his house keys at me before leaning forward.

"Okay now seriously this time I thought we should raise the stakes a little bit…" I scooted forward, now interested.

"Like what?" I questioned, unfolding my arms. He released Mikeala's hand before turning to fumble with his back pocket. He resurfaced with a wad of dollar bills, and tossed them into the middle of the floor. I reached over to count the money.

"Okay…" I smiled before tossing the wad back into the middle, "But what's the catch…?"

"What do you mean…?" He said sarcastically, gazing at me innocently.

"Spill…"

"Fine…however many marshmallows you manage to stick into your mouth, you've got to keep it in there until the last person finishes their turn…" He indicated, sticking his pointer finger to the roof of his mouth. I smiled before grabbing the bag.

"You're on...!" I agreed, shaking his hand. He contorted his face during the exchange.

"All righty then your first…" I challenged, tossing him the marshmallows. He laughed before throwing me back the bag.

"Please, I'm smarter than that…"

"Ladies first…" I snapped back, tossing the bag over. He narrowed his eyes, before throwing it back.

"Oh for Christ's sake I'll go!" Mikeala exclaimed, snatching the bag from my lap. The bag opened with a pop, as she burrowed her hand in to grab a marshmallow. She rolled her eyes at us before placing it in her mouth.

"One…" I started, stretching my legs out. She reached for another and popped it in, sticking it into her free cheek.

"Two…" Sam continued, counting the score on his fingers. She placed in another.

"Three…" I said biting my lower lip to contain my laughter.

"Four…" She stuffed in another.

"Five…" That is when I broke. I held my stomach as I exploded from laughter, covering my mouth to muffle the noise. Sam and soon enough Mikeala followed suit, her face turning purple.

"_You're….urn…" _She said through her full mouth… tossing the bag towards Sam. He waggled his eyebrows before stuffing two into his mouth.

"Two…" Me and Mikeala started, smiling at each other. Sam continued to stuff marshmallows in two at a time, his mouth getting larger with each new addition.

"Eight…" We continued, his face turning red. I giggled slightly. He glared at me before stuffing in a ninth marshmallow, spit sliding down his face. Mikeala this time was the first to crack, covering her mouth to prevent her marshmallows from falling. I joined in before Sam reluctantly tossed me the bag of marshmallows, squinting at me.

"_Or…urn…" _He mumbled grumpily, wiping the spit from his face. I plunged my hand into the bag for resurfacing with three marshmallows. I smiled as I stuffed them into my mouth, one after another, continuing my cramming of three at a time. Sam's face began to fall as I kept cramming.

"Nine…" He said angrily, his face turning a flush red.

"_Hold up…hold up…" _ We all turned to find Bumblebee walking towards us, his optics widened. He bent down to peer at us, staring horrifyingly at our now stuffed faces and flushed purple cheeks.

"_Medic…medic…!"_ He sang, poking Sam in the side.

"Eeman…It usta….ame!" Sam attempted to explain, steadying himself.

"_Oh..dang...oh dang!" _Bumblebee grabbed Sam tightly around the waist before grabbing me and Mikeala with his other free hand. I quickly snatched the marshmallow bag before Bee jumped up and started running towards the med bay.

"Oh…ear…od…!" Sam sighed, smacking his head against his hand. I quickly slapped my hand to my mouth, stopping a falling marshmallow. Bumblebee quickly dodged around the corner before entering the Medbay, waving his hands widely to get Ratchets attention. The medic sighed before turning around to face the distressed youngling.

"_Yes Bumblebee what is it-_" Ratchet gaped curiously towards us as Bumblebee set us down. Ratchet paused for a moment before bending down to examine us. Bumblebee watched his charge worriedly, nervously skimming through various songs to express his emotions as Ratchet scanned over the three adolescence. I carefully hid the marshmallows while he did this. Mikaela looked over at me, smirking as she saw my futile attempts to hide the large bag. Ratchet grumbled slightly before standing up slowly, placing his hands behind his back.

"_Looks to me like we have a case where there is absolutely nothing that I can do…"_ He held up his hand to silence the anxious yellow mech, _"But rather the patients have to do for themselves…"_ He narrowed his eyes down towards the humans.

We looked at each other before gazing up at him, shaking our heads stubbornly. I slowly pulled out the marshmallow bag from behind my back, dangling it front of Sam's face teasingly before reaching in for another marshmallow.

"What the eff…!?" He quickly snatched the bag from me, quickly stuffing another into his mouth as I attempted to shovel more into my mouth.

"_What is dis'… What is dis'!?" _Bumblebee exclaimed confusedly as Sam tackled me for the bag, Mikeala stood by shaking her head as she began spitting out her marshmallows. Ratchet looked down towards us, me now running away triumphantly with the bag with Sam not far behind.

"_This would be classified as a form of humanoid entertainment that happens to endanger their existence…." _Ratchet stated matter-of-factly before turning back to his tool table.

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lol like I said...I couldn't help myself... ;D **PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	3. Fireworks

~Fireworks~

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"Oh, Annabelle…!" Sarah exclaimed as she hopped from her lawn chair to run over to the curious toddler, who had reached down to grab a lit sparkler, "We're too young to play with fire…" She gently scolded, slowly unlatching her fingers from the firework. Bursts of neon yellow exploded from the tip of the colorful straw as sparks flew from the base, embers drifting to the damp grass below as Sarah tossed it into a nearby bucket. She kissed Annabelle on the cheek before setting herself down onto the field, pulling her into her lap.

Annabelle clapped her hands and giggled happily as Mikeala lit a purple sparkler, violet sparks falling to the ground as she began to write her name through the summer air. Behind her, Sam was holding a green one up to Bumblebee, who was prodding it curiously.

"It's just a sparkler Bee," He explained, insisting the yellow mech to take it.

"_Show me what it does…show me what it does…" _

"Well actually, I don't know what it's for…?" Sam raised his eyebrow confusedly, rubbing the back of his neck. He peeked over at Mikeala.

"Just do what she does…" He suggested, jabbing his thumb in her direction. Bumblebee nodded excitedly before standing up. He started to wave it around as Sam walked over to Mikeala, bumping her hip as he started to spell I love you in the space next to her.

"Damn it..!" Will shouted. Sarah smirked as she glanced over at her husband, his hands rubbing two sticks furiously in an attempt to light their fire-pit. Epps and Ironhide bent over in interest as the Lieutenant continued to rub angrily.

"Maybe you should use the lighter man…"

Will mumbled to himself before laughing sarcastically.

"Nope," He continued to rub stubbornly, "I told Sarah I was going to light this the old fashioned way and that's what I'm going to do…" Epps rolled his eyes before sneaking a look up at Ironhide, his cannons slowly coming online. Epps eyes widened before standing up.

"Dude…we better move…!" He grabbed a hold of Will, pinning him to the ground as Ironhide shot at the pile of sticks, a blast of blue exploding before calming down to a shade of orange, flickering gently against the pit. Will pushed Epps off before staring disbelievingly at the fire pit.

"Ironhide!? What the EFF was that for…?"

The black mech shrugged before setting his blue optics onto the distressed soldier.

"_Call it improvisation…" _

Ratchet walked up behind Ironhide, gazing down at the pit and surrounding blackened dirt before smacking him on the back of the head.

"_Slag! Damn it Ratchet!" _ Ironhide rumbled, pushing Ratchet away to rub his head, "_What was that for?"_

"_Pull another stunt like that and your whole face will be rearranged!" _ He growled, bending down to examine Will and Epps.

Sarah laughed as Will waved Ratchets face away, grumpily bending down to grab a bundle of sticks and bag of marshmallows.

"Hey guys you if you want to roast, come claim your sticks and wait for a marshmallow…put that in your mouth Sam and you'll be eating more than that…!" Will warned dangerously as he turned to see Sam with his hand in the bag, a large marshmallow slowly being brought to his mouth.

Annabelle ran excitedly over, her golden curls bouncing as she sat down next to Ironhide, gently patting his leg.

"_What is the 4__th__ of July…?"_

Sarah looked up to see Optimus, his bright blue optics gazing down intently in her direction. She smiled softly, looking over at Ironhide observing Annabelle disgustedly as she stuffed a roasted marshmallow into her mouth, the white fluff dripping down her face.

"It's also known as Independence day…" She replied, Annabelle now beckoning Ironhide to hold out his hand, placing a melted marshmallow into it.

"_I see…" _Optimus rumbled, smirking as Ironhide attempted to throw the gooey mixture over his shoulder, "_But why do you humans in particular celebrate this day…?"_ Sarah paused for a moment, raising an eyebrow as Bumblebee started pointing at Ironhide silently, laughing in raspy bursts. She looked back up at Optimus.

"It's to celebrate our nations independence…to celebrate our triumph over our powerful struggle for freedom…"

Optimus looked down thoughtfully at Sarah Lennox, her answer stunning the large mech. He had never realized how much this day was monumental for the humans, a day he and his comrades never fully understood. To them it was just another form of confusing entertainment that was done solely to amuse, until now. He nodded as he smiled down at her, his facial plates rotating.

"_Thank you Sarah Lennox for answering my question…"_ She smiled at him, patting his leg before walking towards the large group of humans and mechs. Sarah walked behind Will, him wrapping his arms around her as she kissed his cheek. She laughed lightly at Ironhide, who now sat stubbornly with his arms crossed, Annabelle finger-painting onto his leg with marshmallow fluff. They all stifled giggles as Ironhide shot them a glare, his optics narrowing. Loud booms erupted from behind them as the sky exploded with bursts of color, illuminating their faces.

"Okay, now who wants to watch some fireworks?" Will suggested excitedly, rubbing his hands together, beckoning Epps over, "And this time I need you too Ironhide…"

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**PLEASE REVIEW! :D **I thought it would be only fitting if I wrote a short chapter about 4th of July with the Autobots! Hope you liked it! :)


	4. The Dot Game

Well after much struggling with Fanfictions updates [And complete stubbornness to let me update] It finally allowed me to update this story! Enjoy!^^

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Sam stared blankly at the computer screen. His head, which was currently leaning into his balled-up fist, began to slack as his elbow started to slide out from underneath. His free hand remained poised at the base of the mouse as he continued to browse the web. Sam groaned as he shifted positions.

Mikeala glanced up from her magazine; herself strewn across a couch that N.E.S.T operative had established for inside the Autobot base. Bumblebee flicked an optic up in curiosity towards his charge; him down beside the couch and, to everyone else's unknowing, reading over Mikeala's shoulder. She rolled her eyes at Sam's action.

"You can get off the computer anytime now Sam." She mentioned casually, turning the magazine page. Bumblebee nodded his helm rapidly in agreement. Sam turned to glare at them with blood-shot eyes.

"I can get off the computer anytime I want Mikeala, do you know why?" Mikeala raised an eyebrow in amusement towards his short temper, shaking her head. Sam snorted, "Because I'm a man! And a man does what he wants-"Sam trailed off as he once again turned towards the computer. Bumblebee chuckled, his laugh coming out in raspy spurts. Mikeala glanced back down towards her magazine, smirking.

"You just keep telling yourself that…"

Sam snorted at her suggestion. He then began to click things on the screen at random, it making him sound like he was actually being productive instead of him wasting his time. It is due to this incessant clicking that a black square flashed up onto the screen, completely enveloping the small monitor. A low beeping sounded.

"_Aw shit-"_ He swore under his breath, upset at the possibility that he might have either damaged or completely busted the expensive computer. Sam sheepishly peeked over his shoulder. His mishap clearly went unnoticed as Mikeala obliviously continued to read her magazine, Bee still absorbed into the thin booklet as he continued to look over her shoulder.

Sam whipped himself back around, his hands poised shakily over the keyboard. He began to chew on his bottom lip, contemplating a possible solution to fix the problem. A certain amount of minutes past before he began to tug at his hair nervously, no answer coming to mind.

_Hell like he knew how to fix a computer, let alone his own breakfast in the morning! _

It is then he started to desperately press down on the keyboard, using the very little amount of knowledge of technology he knew to his advantage. He halted his pounding once a smallish dot appeared on the center of the screen.

"What the hell?" He tapped on the screen as if demanding some form of an explanation. He then grabbed onto the mouse, rather forcefully, trailing the arrow across the screen until it hovered over the minuscule dot. The dot moved before it could be clicked, it shrinking in size each time he attempted to pursue it.

Over a period of time, and after many vulgar threats and violent tantrums, the dot had managed to shrink to a rather diminutive size; Sam's face plastered to the screen. He eyeballed the dot in a hostile like manner as he tactfully inched his mouse towards the dot. He laughed as his arrow was hovering completely over it.

"Now I got you, you damn dot-"He snarled through clenched teeth as he pressed down onto the mouse.

"BWUAHHH-"The sound of screaming blasted through the computers speakers, the outburst personified much louder than average; Sam having earlier raised the volume at random. The noise was followed shortly after by an image of a ghost, either a real one or a masked fraud he could not tell due to his face being practically suction-cupped to the large monitor.

"Holy SHIT!" Sam shouted as he tipped over his chair, having propelled himself away from the desk to separate his face from the screen.

Mikeala, annoyed, glanced up from her magazine. Having earlier ignored the loud noise she looked up towards the monitor, it once again black, and then down to her boyfriend; him now moaning on the ground while clutching his chest. Bumblebee, now used to his charge's occasional outburst, just gaped at him.

"Do I even want to know?" She asked. He mumbled under his breath as he picked himself up, setting the chair upright. He pointed towards the screen.

"Just get over here!" Mikeala smirked as she lifted herself off of the couch, Bumblebee in close pursuit. She stood at the monitor.

"Yes, Sam?" She exhaled. Sam leaned over the keyboard and started to randomly press keys. A red dot appeared on the screen, him indicating down towards the mouse.

"Try to get it." He demanded. Mikeala grimaced at him.

"Sam-"

"Do it." She narrowed her eyes at him as she put her hand on top of the mouse. Sam watched anxiously as she began to click after it, him giving Bee the occasional uneasy glance, and him laughing eventually as Mikeala started to cuss under her breath, much like him, earlier that day. Sam began to slowly inch himself away as she reached the finish of her dot expedition, her and Bumblebee's face inches from the computer.

"BWUAAAHHH-"

No sooner had Sam collapsed onto the floor a second time, Mikeala had already bolted it across the room, clutching her chest and eyeballing the system as if the whole thing was possessed. Even Bumblebee jolted up in alarm, his plasma cannon aimed at the small machine. He shut it down as Sam burst out laughing. He propped himself up onto the desk.

"That is _classic_!" Sam snorted, bursting into hysterics as Mikeala smacked him on the arm.

"That was not funny." She stated tersely, jabbing a finger into his chest. Bumblebee raised his digits to cover his mouth, clearly attempting to muffle his hoarse laughter.

"It was to me-"

WHACK!

He was shortly interrupted by another smack to his arm. Sam purposely walked over to stand under is guardian, attempting to prevent another hit from Mikeala. He forcefully rubbed his arm, staring blankly at the black screen.

Sam froze, halting his constant arm rubbing to look up at Bee. Bumblebee looked down.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Bumblebee raised an optic ridge, his mouth forming into the best imitation of a smirk. Mikeala glanced at them wearily.

"Thinking what…?"

* * *

Sam gestured towards the screen, Major Lennox, Epps, and the rest of the Autobots gazing attentively towards the red dot that just appeared in the center of the screen. Bumblebee and Mikeala stood of to the side; her shaking her head in denial as Sam pointed out the dot to them.

"Gentlemen," He started, nodding towards the monitor, "The point of the game is to click on the dot…"

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I unfortunately fell prey to this pop-up, only it happened to be about Micheal Jackson's ghost rather than the dot game, though it does exist! O.o

If you wish to have the link to the Dot game, state it in your review or PM me!

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

Inspire*


	5. Author's Note

_**Guess who's back? ;)**_

_**After reading back through my fanfictions (and noticing how it has been two years since I last updated, oh boy.) I feel like I owe it to you all to attempt once again at writing fanfictions. Plus, I rather missed updating these bad boys. Mainly I left to focus on developing my artwork more (note: I was a beginning sophomore in high school when I first started out on here. Now I am 19 and about ready to begin my first year of Art college come August) and feel now that I have enough inspiration and motivation to balance both this and art-ing in my spare time.**_

_**So spread the word, Inspire165 is back and up and running.**_

_**I cannot guarantee how often I will update, but I will update nonetheless.**_

_**If you wish to see what I have been up to the past two years, visit my art blog: draw-the-line dot tumblr dot com.**_

_**I have just recently update my story 'Three Against One', feel free to go check it out! :B**_

_**It's good to be back. :)**_


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